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Student Success

Advice for my first-year self: Leaving home

Hear stories from students away from home for the first time and learning how to thrive in new environments

Student Success

Advice for my first-year self: Leaving home

Hear stories from students who found themselves away from home for the first time, trying to make new friends, and learning how to adapt and thrive in new and unfamiliar environments. As we prepare to bring you a new season of Major Insight this fall, part one of this special summer series shares some of the best advice from the podcast so far.

Read the transcript

Speaker 1:

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast by the hosts and guests may or may not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Miami University.

Female Student Guest:

I am going into my last semester of chemical engineering.

Male Student Guest:

I'm a senior journalism major.

Female Student Guest:

And I'm minoring in supply chain and operations management.

Male Student Guest:

I'm a biochemistry major.

Male Student Guest:

Classes are going great, extracurriculars are going great.

Female Student Guest:

I'm an RA on campus.

Male Student Guest:

I'm thriving.

Jason Meggyesy:

Hi, I'm Jason Meggyesy and this is Major Insight. This is the podcast where we talk college life with amazing students about how to find your place and purpose on campus. Starting a new school year can be exciting and scary for any college student. So as we prepare for an all-new season of Major Insight this fall, we first wanted to bring you a special summer series that shares some of the best advice that we've gotten on the podcast so far.

Jason Meggyesy:

We'll hear stories from students who found themselves away from home for the first time, trying to make new friends and learning how to adapt and thrive in new and unfamiliar environments along the way. This is the first of two bonus episodes that we're calling Advice For My Freshman Self. And we hope it makes the college experience a little easier to navigate no matter where you may be on the journey.

Mary Culp:

My name is Mary Culp, I am from Zionsville, which is a suburb of Indianapolis, it's about two hours away. I'm majoring in inclusive special education. I have a minor in disability studies.

Jason Meggyesy:

And did you find it, in the first year, hard to adjust? I know it's only two hours away but being away from home, that changes things a little bit.

Mary Culp:

Yeah. It was a hard adjustment and a reality. I don't think I realized living at home with my parents, how much they cared for me before, everything was on my shoulders. I had to go get my own groceries, I had to cook all of my own meals. And we had a high level of personal responsibility at home but I remember being sick one time my freshman year with some cold and I was like, "No one at college is going to want to make me soup."

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. Who's going to take care of me?

Mary Culp:

It's just me. So it was a tough adjustment in that way. I liked being near enough to home that I could go home, you can do two hours in a day trip. But also far enough for me to get the independence I needed.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah, I agree. I'm from Columbus and that's just two hours up the road as well. And like you said, it has that nice balance of whenever I really want to go home, I can but I'm here on my own. So what kind of things helped you get over that uncertainty and those feelings of being on your own for the first time freshman year?

Mary Culp:

For me, it was really about finding a community of people who cared about me. Because you can do the laundry and you can do the grocery shopping and all of those things you can manage but I think there's a pretty innate part of us that does want to be cared for and be a part of a community. So for me, finding that was one of the things I sought out when I got to campus. And finding people who really did want to invest in my life, walk with me, know what was going on in my life, whether it was good or whether it was hard and just be a friend who was there for me, really made a huge difference in my college career and helped me adjust to life in college.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. And then freshman year, what dorm did you live in freshman year?

Mary Culp:

Collins Hall.

Jason Meggyesy:

Collins. So Mary, she's chilling, you can go into the dorm room and talk to her for an hour, what are you saying to her? What advice are you giving her?

Mary Culp:

What advice am I giving to freshman year Mary? Figure out what you are passionate about, focus in and hone in on that. There's no need to join 25 clubs, pick two or three things that you care about and run hard at those things. You're right on time, you're not too late, there's not as much pressure as you think there is. And I don't think it was time wasted but I think there was a lot of time that I spent doing things that I thought I was supposed to do for the only reason being I was supposed to do them. So I'd say, kill the supposed to dos, do what you care about and do it well.

Clinton Ransom:

My name's Clinton Ransom, I'm a senior finance major. I'm from Germantown, Ohio. It's a small town, just south of Dayton, finishing up my first semester of senior year right now and living life, man.

Jason Meggyesy:

Let's rewind all the way back. Give a little bit of background on Germantown, your upbringing, all that kind of stuff, man?

Clinton Ransom:

Yeah. So Germantown is a very small town, 5,000 people. Very blue collar upbringing, neither of my parents went to college. It really pushed it in my head that I need to go to Miami or I need to go to Ohio State, something and get a degree. And I didn't really know what I wanted to do but the weird thing about Germantown is because it is so blue collar, I really did not get to see a lot of businessmen. I really didn't even know business was, I don't know, a pursuable career, what I could do there. Just because everyone who was doing business, all I saw was in TV shows and stuff.

Jason Meggyesy:

So after you decide to make the decision to come to Miami, for all the reasons you just mentioned, how was that transition for you?

Clinton Ransom:

See, freshman year was without a doubt one of the toughest years. I felt like every other kid I met was from, one, a big city, two, an upper middle class family.

Jason Meggyesy:

Just different from-

Clinton Ransom:

Yeah, dude. They had been to places around the world, around the country. We are not the same.

Jason Meggyesy:

It felt like if everyone had already known the game and we just came in and we had to learn how to play the game.

Clinton Ransom:

Yeah, it was mind blowing. It was culture shock.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah.

Clinton Ransom:

Honestly.

Jason Meggyesy:

What things did you do freshman year to navigate these feelings of, you said, out of place, just different feelings that you hadn't had before from home?

Clinton Ransom:

I didn't try to be what everyone was.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah.

Clinton Ransom:

I was just myself and people enjoyed that. I don't know, I just tried to be the same kid I was in high school and I guess I grew up and learned to not let that bother me, really. Because it doesn't matter. There are kids from every background possible at this school and you'll find a friend somewhere.

Jason Meggyesy:

So now you're a senior, what's the most important lesson you've learned?

Clinton Ransom:

I think the most important thing that I would tell anyone is, stay attentive to your mental health. Mental health was something I did not even think about coming into college and all these new things were happening and I was lost in a foreign land. I was away from home, I was away from my parents and I had never felt so sad before. And then next thing I know, I'm like, "Who do I talk to? What do I do?"

Clinton Ransom:

I think last year was the first year I started going to a therapist, a mental health specialist just to talk to them. And that has been one of the most important things. And I don't think people talk about it enough or a lot of people try to keep it in or just tough it out and that is the worst thing to do, I think. So just take care of your brain. No one wants to say, "Oh I'm sad or I'm anxious or I'm whatever." But at the end of the day, everyone gets sad or anxious.

Jason Meggyesy:

It's a fact of life. Honestly, I mean, whether you like it or not, it's part of the experience.

Clinton Ransom:

Yeah.

Jason Meggyesy:

Not just college but human experience in general.

Clinton Ransom:

Yeah. I was lucky enough to find some friends my freshman year that were much more educated on mental health and things like that than me. And being able to talk to them was really great because I had never talked about that stuff to anyone before and I just found them on my floor. Honestly, just hanging out with people every day, whether they're educated on that stuff or not, at one point, they'll try to help you. And if they can't help you, there're resources out there. There're resources through the school, there're resources around Oxford, it's one Google search away.

Gretchen Spenn:

So my name is Gretchen Spenn and I'm a junior double majoring in kinesiology and nutrition.

Jason Meggyesy:

Tell me about your senior year experience. I mean, obviously Miami's... In Ohio, you're from Indiana. Why was Miami ultimately the place for you?

Gretchen Spenn:

So Miami was always on my radar but I think one downside was that it was out of state, it was two and a half hours away from my home. I only knew one person who was going there, no one else from my high school was going there. So that was a bit of a scary thing.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. And how did you work through that and what things did you do to become completely acclimated with the environment that you were in?

Gretchen Spenn

I think the big thing that really helped is knowing that pretty much every other incoming freshman is also looking to make friends. So everyone is looking for friends, they all want to meet new people. So I think for me, I had to overcome the shyness that I had and just forcing myself to talk to the kid next to me in class and being like, "Hey, I'm Gretchen, what's your name? What's your major? Do you want to go get Starbucks and study for this class together?" Even if it didn't work out with that person, I started feeling more and more comfortable talking to strangers.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. And more people appreciate that than other people probably know. Because, like you said, everybody's looking to find somebody to at least hang out with for the first couple weeks, even if it's not a friendship that lasts.

Gretchen Spenn:

Right. I know for me, when I would feel a little too anxious to talk to someone, as soon as someone talked to me, I was like, "Oh, thank God. A friend."

Jason Meggyesy:

The weight's lifted off your shoulders.

Gretchen Spenn:

Exactly. Yeah. So it's going to be fine.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah.

Will Stevens:

I'm Will Stevens from Chicago, Illinois. I'm a junior on the men's basketball team.

Jason Meggyesy:

Besides being on the basketball team. What are your majors here?

Will Stevens:

So I'm a Chinese major right now, an East Asian languages and cultures major with a Chinese concentration.

Jason Meggyesy:

Take me back before you came into college. Just talk to me about your time in Chicago growing up, family life, all that kind of stuff?

Will Stevens:

For sure. So I grew up in some of Chicago's most violent neighborhoods, most underprivileged neighborhoods, I grew up in some of the most crime infested neighborhoods. So growing up for me was a little bit of a challenge, navigating that and seeing that every day. That's something that I learned that I didn't want to be a part of. I had family members who was in the street life, in and out of jail, friends that was killed, all type of stuff that comes with that life. It was easy to get distracted, I've seen some of my closest friends get distracted and veer away. Just keeping that faith and that hope alive helped me to get out of that situation. And Chicago's been a big reason for who I am and just the toughness and you've got to grind it out for real because that's what it is, that's where we come from.

Jason Meggyesy:

Most definitely, man. I can see that grind mentality in you and all the things that you've done up until this point. How do you bring that perspective from your hometown here and use it in your everyday life here?

Will Stevens:

So bringing that from my hometown here, I like to just remember where I come from because it's easy for me, sometimes I'm out here, it's like I'm in a bubble in a way, it's easy in a way to forget my roots, I'm just around this fantasy, in a way. So I try to stay grounded and remember where I come from and just remember to stay true to myself pretty much. I went to a predominantly white boarding school in high school in Boston, Massachusetts and so I had that experience already, coming from Chicago, a predominantly black middle school into a predominantly white high school. So being in these spaces, it just taught me to really stay true to myself, focus on those things that make me who I am.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. What advice would you give to your freshman self? If you had 20 minutes, 30 minutes to sit down with freshman Will, what are you saying to him?

Will Stevens:

Man, sitting down with freshman Will, I'm going to tell freshman Will to take his time. Everything's going to pan out how it pans out, you can only control what you can control. Just work, just be grateful for what you have. You've got all your senses, you've got perspective, you get to experience life, what more do you really need? So I would tell myself, man, take a step back and just observe life for real.

Kristina Miljkovic:

Hi, my name is Kristina Miljkovic and I'm a senior here at Miami. I'm actually in the combined program so my undergraduate major is psychology with a dance minor. And I'm also in the master's program in the kinesiology health and education department, which is in public health education and promotion.

Jason Meggyesy:

Lot's going on.

Kristina Miljkovic:

Yeah.

Jason Meggyesy:

Lots going on there. Freshman year, no matter if you're 20 minutes away or 20 hours away, because it's just a change of scenery and so just talk to me about what the biggest challenges were?

Kristina Miljkovic:

At the time, in the beginning of my freshman year, I didn't feel like I was getting as many opportunities as I wanted to or possibly could have, but then I realized that I just wasn't seeking opportunities in the right places, I guess.

Jason Meggyesy:

I'm interested to see you tease that out a little bit. What do you mean by, you weren't looking for opportunities in the right spot?

Kristina Miljkovic:

I thought that maybe... I don't really know exactly what I thought but I thought it'd be easier, that maybe people would reach out to you or the psychology department would present you with opportunities. Which they do in their weekly newsletters and stuff but you get more out of it if you go to faculty and reach out and say, "This is what I'm interested in, how can you help me?"

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah.

Kristina Miljkovic:

Or, "What can I do moving forward?"

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. I think that's definitely a big thing a lot of people get confused because even I was there when I was a freshman. There's so much tailored to you when you're coming in, they're sending you all these letters, this and this, but when you actually get here, it's like, all right, you've got to make the most of what you're doing. Was there ever a moment where you... Because I feel like every college student goes through the time where they see other people doing things and that is like, "Oh, am I not doing the right thing?" Did that ever happen for you?

Kristina Miljkovic:

Oh, yes. I would say this semester actually.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. I think the most important thing for people to understand is that, somebody told me this the other day, it's like, people might be passing you but it's in their lane. So you can't be in their lane, you're in yours. So you just have to roll with what's going on with you and take everything in stride that way, you can't keep looking over in somebody else's lane because then you're just going to crash in your own.

Kristina Miljkovic:

Yeah. That's what we talk about in psychology all the time, everyone's on their own path. And you can be on the same tree branch, that's how we've learned about it in class, you can be on the same tree branch but the branch can always branch into smaller little branches.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. That's a very psychology type of thing. I feel that. We're in the presence of the great and wonderful, Annie David. Annie, how are you doing?

Annie David:

I'm great. I'm glad to be here. Thank for having me.

Jason Meggyesy:

Yeah. This is going to be a lot of fun. All right, Annie. So just talk to us a little more about your whole freshman year experience.

Annie David:

Yeah. So freshman year I came in undecided. I honestly had such a hard time because I was super creative and I had my own photography business at school back at home and I also loved AP Calculus. I just had such an analytical and creative mind and I really didn't know how to narrow that and where to saturate my skill sets. Because I think as a freshman in college, you feel a lot of pressure to pick one major, know what you're going to do, what's your five year plan?

Jason Meggyesy:

100%.

Annie David:

And it stressed me out and I really just had no idea because I felt like I could take so many different paths. So it was freshman year, first semester, I was taking a bunch of different classes, chemistry, photography, really just trying to figure out what exactly it was that I wanted to do and I really appreciated that flexibility. And my freshman year, second semester, I declared, at the time it was interactive media studies, which was design, business and technology, all combined, which was three different segments that I was super interested in. And I took those classes, did some coding, learned Adobe Creative Cloud and I just got in the groove of that and I really liked it so I ended up declaring that my freshman year.

Jason Meggyesy:

Got you. So a lot of steps to get to where you are now?

Annie David:

Yeah.

Jason Meggyesy:

If you had a time machine, you could go back and talk to Annie David freshman year, 18 years old.

Annie David:

Yeah.

Jason Meggyesy:

What's one piece of advice that you'd give her?

Annie David:

I would tell her to stop worrying and to stop comparing herself to others. I think a lot of the times I felt so much pressure and I was like, "Oh my gosh, all my friends know what they're doing, they have their career plan set out and they're going to go straight to that." And I found myself really comparing myself to other students and wanting to be like them like, "Oh, I wish I had it all together." But at the end of the day, I think none of us really have it together, we all personally, truly don't know what we're doing, but I think there's so much beauty in that because we can all empathize with one another. And really, I would tell her that you need to take the next four years to just learn and grow and lean on other people because we're all in this together.

Jason Meggyesy:

You going to make me cry. That was beautiful. Thank you for listening to this special episode of Major Insight. Next time, we'll hear more from students about how to get involved with campus life.

Male Student Guest:

I think in high school, I had a lot of regret of not doing clubs like this and in college I wanted to change that. It definitely was a hard decision at first but once you make that first decision to get out of your comfort zone, the rest of the decisions are a lot easier.

Jason Meggyesy:

Definitely. That's next time as our series on Advice For My Freshman Self continues.

Major Insight is a roadmap for college students who wish to find their place and purpose on campus. Each episode features authentic conversations with accomplished students who are successfully navigating 21st century university life.